Time to Refill the Spiritual Tank

I have a bunch of interests –music/production, preaching/teaching, youth ministry, art/design, science, technology, and lots that I do with the church, and it’s really easy for me to over-extend myself (everyone that knows me is chuckling right now, “uh, really? no duh, Brian.”)  It’s not that others are placing demands on me, I just get get excited about lots of things and enjoy being involved.  My wife and I were having our weekly Friday morning breakfast and planning time a few days ago, talking through our crazy weekend.  I was putting together a couple lessons and some songs with the San Diego worship leaders Sat, preaching for our group on Sunday, among other things.  As we were talking my wife said, “You should just leave right after this, get a hotel down in San Diego to get away and work on your lessons and get a good nights sleep.”  (We haven’t been sleeping that well cause our dog has fleas, we need a new mattress, kids and sleepovers etc).  My wife is a genius.

One of the things I shared the next day with the worship leaders in San Diego is that in we need to make sure we are all taking time to refill the spiritual tank.  In Philippians 2:7 we are called to be like Jesus who “made himself nothing.”  The original greek carries the meaning that he “poured himself out,” he “emptied himself.”  That is how I try to approach preaching or leading worship –I want to pour myself out.  I want to hold nothing back.  I want to be completely available and used by God.  But that’s why as worship leaders its important for us to make sure we’re taking time to recharge the spiritual batteries.  To get filled back up by God.

As I was driving down to San Diego there was this half hour period where the cars were going about 15 or 20 miles an hour (not bad for that drive on a Friday early afternoon) and there was this guy on a motorcycle flying through about 50 mph, weaving in-between cars cruising along, carefree and unhindered by the slow traffic.  In that moment I said a prayer for that guy.  We all know why, right?  Cause you can live like that for a while but it’s only a matter of time.  And in that moment I thought, I can live my life like that.  Running and dodging one obstacle after the next.  It’s working, I’m surviving.  But it’s only for a time.  Eventually something is gonna crash.  There are times I need to slow it down.

So I ended up getting a cheap hotel in Encinitas, five minute walk from the beach.  I was able to get a few hours of time with God on the beach –praying and singing, walking and wading, worshipping.  My heart was so filled up, and what I felt was, “wow, I didn’t realize how much my soul needed this.”  To be out in God’s creation, to not be rushing from one thing to the next.  As I was spending time by the waves Friday afternoon I sang this song that I had written many years ago.  Life was a little simpler then, as a college student with no kids.  My campus minister gave us each a challenge to do something special with God.  So I spent a day at the beach and wrote this song.  Over twenty years later, the words couldn’t have been more appropriate and from my heart:

As the Waves

AS THE WAVES

I wish I could see forever from here
Fully understand emotion, my laughter and tears
I wish I could watch the beginning of time and space
But I can hear your heartbeat here in this ordinary place

As the waves crash into the sand
and the day is yours and mine to spend
I hear the waves and it makes me understand
Though now I can’t quite see eternally
or fully understand my destiny
still I can hear you gently speak to me
in the crashing of the waves

I wish I could walk across oceans and see the whole world
Touch the endless faces of each little boy and girl
I wish I could know your thoughts and understand your plans
But I can hear your voice in the word, and in the oceans and sands

As the waves crash into the sand
and the day is yours and mine to spend
I hear the waves and it makes me understand
Though now I can’t quite see eternally
or fully understand my destiny
still I can hear you gently speak to me
in the crashing of the waves

I wish I could somehow speak to you, face-to-face
Ask you why you chose me to be free out of the whole human race
Sometimes it’s hard to believe what I think I can’t see with my eyes
But with my soul’s eyes inside open wide I can see beyond skies

As the waves crash into the sand
and the day is yours and mine to spend
I hear the waves and it makes me understand
Though now I can’t quite see eternally
or fully understand my destiny
still I can hear you gently speak to me
in the crashing of the waves

 

 

---